Model wearing outfit from Once Upon A Time Collection by Kao Lee Thao, Photo by Yeng Yang

Friday, October 7, 2011 – Minneapolis, MN The Center for Hmong Arts and Talent (CHAT) held the Fresh Traditions V Fashion Show (FTV) at the beautiful McNamara Alumni Center in Minneapolis, Minnesota. FTV is an annual fashion show featuring all Hmong fashion designers and Asian models.

Each designer is given creative control over their collections, with one exception. Because there is little documentation as to why the unique palette of traditional Hmong fabrics were used, designers are challenged to make sense of the traditional fabrics in today’s contemporary world.

They are all required to design at least one full outfit using a combination of the 5 Hmong fabrics: black satin, black velvet, neon green chiffon, florescent pink chiffon and a royal blue satin.

As the doors opened at 6pm, the line at the entrance quickly filed out into the hallway and the room filled with excitement and curiosity for this year’s 5 featured designers. With only an hour left before the show, attendees were entertained by DJ Luchie’s music spinning in the background.

At the stroke of 7pm, the VIP audiences quickly got into their seats as the general audiences pushed their way as close to the runway as possible. Katie Ka Vang, Director of Navigate at CHAT, came from behind the curtains in a red and gold Chinese dress and a floral-feathered hairpiece that made just the right statement of high fashion for an event like FTV.

“Is everyone excited?!” Katie screamed at the audience. She received a buzzing response that confirmed a positive answer to her question. With that the fashion show began.

FTV opened with a video that set the mood of enchantment while a beautiful woman appeared and danced among weeping willow trees. Next was the introduction video from the first designer, Sai Chang featuring her collection, Essee.

“Sai’s collection, Essee, is designed for the woman who enjoys the simple things in life, but also want to look fresh, edgy and fashionable.” Influenced by both hip hop and punk rock, Sai was able to deliver the look as her models walked the runway with an upbeat, fun and fierce determination. The Essee collection was a mix of black, white and occasionally pink accents. Sai successfully executed a look that combined sporty, sexy and rebellious elements.

The next designer was Marlena Thao with the Bombshell Collection. “Marlena’s vision and concept was inspired by the 1940’s pin-up girls. She wanted to accentuate the female figure with sultry yet flattering garments.” The Bombshell Collection had a summery pastel pallete with floral prints –a sweet contrast from Essee’s bold black and white. Besides the feminine appeal, each of Marlena’s outfits offered versatility as each model walked the runway twice, showing two different looks in one – such as reversible pieces, a skirt that transformed into a hooded cape, and a mini ensemble that turned into a full-length dress.

Fresh Traditions V Fashion Show, Photos by Yeng Yang

[Show as slideshow]

The third designer was Dokiang Thao, the only out-of-state designer from Madison, WI with her bITTERsWEET Collection. “bITTERsWEET originates from the girl who loves tea parties and lipstick, but is a risk-taker, someone who loves to stand out and is not afraid to get her hands dirty.” Dokiang’s collection delivered a “hardcore” feeling of rawness as each model walked out with asymmetrical Mohawk hairdos carrying a large lollipop as a prop. The innocent deviance was even more emphasized by the dark black and green fabrics she used with her short and body-hugging designs.

Next was designer, Ashaley Yang with the Color Me Beautiful Collection. “The design focus is to embrace females with larger structures encompassing bright and bold colors to contrast with an edge of drama.” Ashaley is the first FT designer to design for the fuller-figured woman. She designed full-length dresses using free-flowing fabrics in daring colors that her models wore with confidence and elegance.

The final and most dramatic designer of the show was Kao Lee Thao with the Once Upon A Time Collection. Kao Lee’s line was a collection of wearable art that demonstrated her talents to go beyond the brush and canvas. Already having an established reputation as an amazing painter, Kao Lee’s collection was an extension of her imagination as she brought to life characters from Hmong folktales. Starting with a theatrical opening, her required pieice, the “Hmong Warrior”assassins an orphan boy. The Once Upon a Time collection was a dramatic ending to the entire show.

The Fresh Traditions Fashion Show’s unique format of allowing each designer their own creative team and models makes for 5 different fashion shows in one event. As the show came to a conclusion, there was a clear desire to see more. There were cameras flashing and offerings of congratulations and admiration as people eagerly approached designers and models that made their way from the backstage to join the audience after the show.

With the wide range of styles from this year’s designers, FTV left audiences with an up-lifing impression of great things to expect for the future of fashion.

Subscribe to 18XEEM’s print publication for in-depth coverage and interviews with featured designers in the next issue. To see more photos, videos and reactions to CHAT’s Fresh Traditions V Fashion Show, go to www.freshtraditionsfashion.com or visit their facebook page.

Center for Hmong Arts and Talent exists to nurture, explore and illuminate the Hmong American experience through artistic expressions.

Dr Ia Kue at her office, Photo by CVPix

Why are we here? What is the process of getting to medical school? What is it like to be a medical student? What does it take to become a doctor? These were some of the questions that Dr. Ia Kue helped answer and facilitate during a Future Doctors Gathering in her humble home for a group of eager students currently pursuing the medical field. “It’s a long, difficult, and sometimes lonely journey that takes a lot of dedication, sacrifice, and determination to get to.”

With this in mind, Dr. Kue, came up with a meeting to bring Hmong students from all over Michigan to discuss and share their experiences, in hopes of helping them get through this rigorous educational procedure. If there is anyone who has the most knowledge on what it is like struggling through medical school to attain a professional career, while juggling other cultural and social activities, only to make it out in the end, as successful and as enlightened as never before, it would be Dr. Kue.

Dr. Kue is the first female Hmong osteopathic medical student in the United States, the first female Hmong Family and Osteopathic Physician in Michigan and the first to open and manage her own clinic: Lifetime Family Care, PLLC. She is a pioneer in Hmong women leadership, not because of these numerous accomplishments, but because of her perseverance and determination in higher education and empowering youth to live their dreams. Some of the things she shared with us while we sat in her office were extremely heartwarming, and it showed through that she is a dedicated,hardworking and genuine person. Her gentle voice revealed that she was a caregiver, not just to her kids, but also to her patients, in always being compassionate and thoughtful about their well-being.

“It took me 13 years to get started here. I remember when I first started going to medical school, all of the older ladies were saying, why do you want to do this? You have kids, and you are a nyab. You should just stay home and let your husband work. A lot people were unsure of our decision. But after we finished, people came up to us and they apologize to us and admitted that this was the right thing.”

THE INTERVIEW:
18XEEM: When you were a little girl did your parent’s expect you to become a doctor? DK: No… because they didn’t know any better, as far as what we could do or what potentials we had. My dad is a proponent of education, so he is always emphasizing education. What type of education –he didn’t know, he just wanted us to finish high school and at least go to college, that was what they kept enforcing. But as far as going to medical school, no I don’t think that they ever dreamt that this could be a possibility, nor did I.

When you and your family moved to the US, how did you cope with learning to speak and write the English language at the age of 8? What was your motivation? I was the oldest of 5 kids, my parents spoke no English, and similarly to a lot of people, I just had to learn it because I was interpreting for them… when we’d go shopping or the doctor’s office. I was forced to learn it in a way, and that’s what motivated me to learn it quicker than probably my siblings. Because it was do or die, you know. We were sponsored by a church in Illinois, there were maybe 4 other Hmong families around the area, so I was always surrounded by friends who were not Hmong. I joined clubs in school, played in a jazz band, and so those things helped me to learn English faster.

You married at a very young age, 17; do you think things would have been different if you didn’t marry young? Definitely, things would be different, because who knows whom I’d end up with or what that life situation would be like, but I’ve always loved school. Even if I didn’t get married at that age, I would have continued to pursue something in school. When I dropped out of 10th grade my teachers were very disappointed, because I had a grade point average of 3.9 and worked really hard to get there. When I got married, it just kind of ended; my dad was also very disappointed. But he made my husband promise that I would go back to school and at least get some sort of degree. And so my husband agreed that he would send me to school.

As a Hmong woman, what was one of the biggest challenges you faced in your life? I think that I was very lucky, though there are challenges. I was lucky because when I married my husband,his parents were very supportive of my education too so that automatically relieved a lot of pressure there. I think one of the biggest challenges with all Hmong women is to trying to be a good nyab (wife), a good mother, have lots of kids for your parents, to be able to provide for your family, and at the same time pursue what you want to do and not compromise that. If you want to continue being a domestic Hmong woman, and at the same time you want have a career, then your responsibilities double. If you want to be one or the other its okay, but most of the time, I fought really hard to be the best at both and that made it more complicated. At times I felt that I couldn’t, and I was disappointed because of that, but I tried my best and left the rest to God. I wouldn’t have done it any other way.

What was one of the biggest sacrifices you had to make in getting this far, and how did you go about making that decision? I think the biggest sacrifice I had to make was my family. I had to go to school at Michigan State and I had to leave them for 2-3 days at a time. That was a huge sacrifice. I remember the first whole semester, when I used to drive to school I would be so broken hearted about leaving my family that I would cry all the way driving from home to Michigan State. It was also challenging for my husband and kids.

In addition to that, I also had to sacrifice a lot of my friends, because all I had time for was school and family. I didn’t have any time for anything else. A lot of my peers at that time were all housewives and they worked and they were happy with that. I tried to convince them to go to school with me too but really nobody else was interested so I just kept pushing by myself. At the same time, I tried to keep my family in line with me along the way. I didn’t want to lose them behind. Every step of the way I would keep them up to date. I would call my husband everyday and let him know what I was doing, where I was at and I’d write to my kids everyday from school or I would call and talk to each of one of them and ask how school was –if they were sick or doing okay. The key thing for me was having constant communication with them. They came to visit me often, if I didn’t come home within 2-3 days, they would make a trip up there or if I had exams on Mondays and I couldn’t come home on the weekends, they would stay with me on the weekends.

My parents and all my siblings were such a huge support, helping every way they could. When I did come home –the free time that I had, I spent with my kids. I taught my girls how to play the piano, so that was our time together. That was my way of trying to balance my life, but I really had no life outside of that. Since our kids were little, we have set a day where we have family time together so every Friday night is family night… even now that they are teenagers they won’t go out with their friends because they know its family night on Friday’s. Every Sunday night, we have a family meeting night. That was another way we kept our family together.

Recently, you did a presentation on the book, “The Spirit Catches you and You Fall Down”.  As a Hmong and a Doctor, do you see yourself in the same shoes as the parents of the patient, or the doctors of the patient? I would say that I would be that person who stands in the crossroad between two cultures. It’s really neat to be in that position because you can see everything that is going on on both sides; on the parent’s side as well as the medical side. I can’t really say one or the other. I believe that her [Lia’s] parents did the best they could as parents; with the limited knowledge they had in medicine to take care of Lia. They loved her.

On the other side, her pediatricians also did the same; they were limited because they didn’t understand the culture, but from a medical point of view, they did their best. The flaw was that they didn’t take the time to understand the parents and that made a huge difference. No matter how smart they were,how much time they sacrificed, because they missed that small piece –that knowledge into the culture, it made the world a difference in the way things turned out. They were, as one of the doctors said, ‘excellent physicians but imperfect healers’because their world view was the opposite of their patients and they just couldn’t identify with them. It was a tough situation on both sides.

Do you find yourself in that position sometimes while working with patients of other cultural backgrounds? Yes, I do and it is very tough. Even with me being Hmong, its very hard for my Hmong patients to adhere to their treatment regime. For example if they have high blood pressure, I would give them enough medication for 3 months, sometimes I don’t see them for another 6 months or a year later, when they are having symptoms. However, things are changing, as I’m able to spend more time in educating them.

More importantly, they are starting to see the consequences of uncontrolled diseases in the Hmong community, so awareness has definitely increased adherence. It is a challenge for all health workers when working with a culture whose world view of illness is so different than our own. But I think that if we focus on what we have in common as people and respect each other for our differences, then we can overcome many barriers. I’m finding that doing what is right (from a medical perspective) is not always the best initial step. The most important thing is building a firm relationship. It is extremely important to gain that trust and respect from your patients first. They want to know that you actually care about their health –I think this ultimately breaks all cultural barriers and only then can you provide services to your patients. Because of this, I’ve actually learned a few Polish words to try to impress my Polish patients…who usually just giggle at me.

How do you deal with patients when they don’t take your word for it? I believe that you can never force a patient to do what they don’t want to do, regardless of their cultural background. My job is to educate them about their illness, provide them with options, and then provide them with my recommendations. Then it’s pretty much up to them. If it is a difficult decision then I give them my best judgment by suggesting something like, “if I were in your situation… this is what I would do,” but I never guarantee the outcome. Once I feel that they are well knowledgeable with the situation, they can make the decision that’s best for them. Sometimes I’ll talk to their daughter, or their parents, or someone they trust and respect to get them to encourage and support their family member in making the best decision.

Where do you see the future of the Hmong community going in terms of our history, culture and language? I think we can look at the Hmong communities at large and we can see that Hmong people have progressed very fast. Within the last 30 years, we have had people who’ve gone on to higher education, or have their own businesses. We have come very far and will continue to grow if the people who have accomplished what they have accomplished will reach back to the community and the young people; I think that will help them to catch up. I do also see a generation of –for lack of a better word, a lost generation of youth. I think that we –those of us who have gone forward, need to spend a lot of energy to try and wake up our youth, instill within them dreams, and remind them where their parents came out of. My parents were always telling me, “We want a better life for you, we don’t want you to have the kind of life that we did.” I saw that kind of life –where they came from and the struggles, it is a big motivation for me to keep pushing forward. I want our young people to see that too. I want them to know that it doesn’t matter where they are at; if they want to pursue their dreams… it is very possible.

As a leader in your community, what is the one thing that you would want others to learn from you and apply it to what they are doing in their lives? Find something that you are gifted in and do what you love to do and be excellent at what you do. There are four things that will help you get there, and I call them the four D’s: Determination, Discipline, Discernment, and Dedication. Those are the things that will lead you to your Dream (which is actually the first to start with: to have a dream, a goal or a target to hit). I want our young people to know that each one of us, has a purpose for our existence. Once we find out what that is, then life begins. I believe that the God who created us would be very disappointed if we just wasted our lives away.

“The four D’s: Determination,Discipline, Discernment, and Dedication. Those are the things that will lead you to your Dream.”

To the Hmong women out there, whether they are married or not, they can do both. They just have to sacrifice a bit more. But I want and hope to see more women becoming more independent and at the same time be able to maintain the humble role as a Hmong wife and mother. To be able to make decisions with their children, to be a good role model for their family and also for our community.

What was your inspiration?
Traditional Hmong Costumes and High Fashion.

Do your designs have any functions/unique aspects to it?
Hmong Reinvented is a fashion line that represents and bridges the gap between being Hmong and being American. In my designs I use Hmong embroidery with western silhouettes. I want to make wearing Hmong clothes fashionable. My motto is: Forget about the layers, the heavy money belts and bags. Keep it simple and chic.

How long does it take you to finish one piece?
Depending on how complicated the garment can get and how much time I have to work on it, it could take a few days up to a month.

Who would you want to wear this piece?
I think “tweens” to adults would really appreciate wearing my designs because of the stylish silhouettes, new interesting lines in design and the incorporation of traditional Hmong elements. I want to cater to the Hmong community, as well as branch out to the mainstream market.

How much does it cost?
Full outfits can range from $150 – $300 depending on design patterns and materials.

Where can we get it?
I am currently working on a website, but you can always look at my work on lylena.deviantart.com/. If you see anything you like, just leave me a note and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. I am always working on new designs and orders for other people. Please understand I make everything myself so it can take a month or more to get a garment to you.

“You know that time of the year when your mom pulls out the luggage of clothes she’s packed away for a year? You know what I’m talking about, the heavy luggage that you secretly hoped had miraculously disappeared in the closet or under the bed? Yes, it’s Hmong New Year and you feel obligated to wear the heavy, burdensome clothes again. We’ve all been there, it doesn’t matter if you’re Green, White, Striped, Black Hmong, etc. We all go through the same process –the hours of getting everyone dressed and the madness of the mess afterwards. Wouldn’t it just be easier if we could have something simple and fashionable?  To answer that question, I created Hmong Reinvented… my fashion line of traditional Hmong costumes with a western touch. In keeping with tradition, I left as much of the original silhouette as I could, altering the neckline, the sleeves, the skirt and the layers as I went. In the end we have garments that are clearly Hmong, but very sexy and easy to wear. Not only have I updated traditional Hmong costumes, but I am also putting a little bit of Hmong into ready-to wear garments”.

Where did you grow up and what school did you attend?
Fresno, California / University of California, Davis (Bachelor of Science in Textiles and Costumes)

What inspired you to get into fashion?
For as long as I can remember, I’ve been drawing and dancing. I grew up drawing on my mom’s magazines. Going to traditional Hmong dance practice was mandatory since my mom was the dance teacher. Dance performances were the worst –I always threw up. I never figured out if I was nervous or my layers were smoldering me. In high school, I had enough with tradition and started a hip-hop dance group where I first combined my passion for drawing and dancing by designing our dance costumes. Then, going away for college was great! I got to discover myself and found a family away from home with the UC Davis Hmong Student Union, a Hmong club on campus. Being with them brought me closer to my roots. I went away for college to get into medical school, but came out with a BS in Costume and Textiles. I took up traditional Hmong dancing again and taught a few girls in the club. Most of us were away from home and couldn’t get traditional Hmong costumes, plus our parents weren’t too trusting of a group of teens with all those money bags. This was the first time I started to redesign Hmong costumes as well as try a hand at sewing. Once I started sewing my own designs, I couldn’t stop, I had found something I was incredibly passionate about –something I could see myself doing day in and day out and would never get tired of. I quickly got into the Design program at UC Davis and since then I have never turned back. My professors were wonderfully supportive. During my last two years in college, my designs were more theatrical and experimental. However, I didn’t really explore Hmong clothing again until a professor really encouraged me to do it for my senior project. I showcased four Hmong Reinvented garments that year for the Senior Fashion Show. It was incredible seeing my creations on the runway. Since then, I have continued to sew for family members and I’m slowly getting myself noticed in a few online communities. My largest commission so far has been for the “Nkauj Hmoob Yaj Yuam” dance group here in Sacramento, California.

What does it mean to be Hmong to you?
Being Hmong is being proud of your people, embracing your culture, speaking the language, learning the traditions and never forgetting who you are or trying to hide from it.

What are your goals/ aspirations?
My short-term goal is to have a booth at the Hmong New Year next year to test the waters and if all goes well, to open up a store of my own. I would love to be a high fashion designer and a common household name, but until then, I want to come out with something new and daring that hopefully the Hmong will appreciate and support.

1. Hmong ABC

   Hmong ABC is the ultimate source for all Hmong books, artifacts, audio books and movies. Check out the Books section for unique titles like the English-Hmong Dictionary Pocket Reference.

2. Hmong Language Group (Hmong LG)

   Created by the Hmong Language group, this exel document consists of a long list of Hmong Words which includes both Hmoob ‘Dawb” (White) and Moob “Ntsuab” (Green) words.

3. Hmong Translated Material

   The Minnesota Department of Health offers a vast number of MDH materials translated into Hmong. We think this is the best way in really learning how to read/write in Hmong, by looking at real-life examples. In the process, you’ll learn a few things such as Parenting for children with Asthma, Immunizations, and Lead Poisoning!

4. Being Hmong Means Free

   Learn about the Romanized Popular Alphabet that was created in Laos during the 1950s and the different tones in language.

5. Hmong language

   Our resource list wouldn’t be complete without a wikipedia reference. This is a good place to start to get a general overview of the Hmong language.

6. Bryace Schroeder’s Resources on Hmong

   An interesting collection of Hmong language in its many forms.

7. Mong Literacy

   Though this website needs major design revamping, we do enjoy learning about the vast amount of information available on this website in regards to the Mong langague.

8. Hmong Dictionary

   This website is a given, however we’d like to see a more user friendly approach to using the website, as well as a cleaner interface. Though we weren’t able to find some words, it is a useful resource if you’re searchig for simple words like “You” and “I”.

9. The Languages: Hmong and English

   A Comparison of the cues between Hmong and English. A project created and managed by several individuals from the University of Minnesota.Hmong Translation

10. Saturn Hmong Homepage

    Our last resource doesn’t seem to be working at the moment or has been taken down by its owner, but we decided to include it because, we want it back up! This is byfar the most useful resource (though we also recommend that the interface ought to be redesigned to have a more user-friendly touch to it). Check out an old version of the website, courtesy of Archive.org: English-Hmong and Hmong-English

Did we miss any other resources? Are there other resources that you have bookmarked or have recently come across that you want to see here? Tell us about it in the comments area! We are always excited to discover new or old resources!

1. Car pooling
Hmong people are known for riding in small cars with more passengers than seat belts. Can you just picture your entire family getting out of a Honda Civic?

2. Pack our own lunch in a bamboo container
Although this practice has been somewhat replaced with plastic containers, its important to note that the bamboo containers are a lot safer and culturally more appealing than plastic tupperware.

3. Park far away from destination and walk halfway there
Having a good sense of direction helps, and for Hmong people, it’s usually landmarks that are the giveaways for traveling (like that rock at the corner, or the tree stump on the side road). Who needs a gigantic paper map or a battery hungry gps system?

4. Fill up our own bottles with tap water
That’s what you call reusing!

5. Grow herbs, vegetables and fruits in our own backyard
Not only have our grandmas and ma’s been doing this, but we’ve sort of picked up on the trend…

6. Raise our own meat
If your neighbor has ever caught you trying to catch that chicken that escaped from its coop, then this applies to you! Just remember to keep them quiet and out of the neighbors bushes…

7. Prepare our own food from scratch
Killing your own cow emits less of a carbon footprint.  Just uh, don’t do it in your backyard or basement (read more about the impact of eating red meat here).

8. Hunt for our own meet
It’s a fact, Hmong people love hunting for deer and fishing for fish because we get to cook it for ourself and our family later.

9. Pass down old clothing to younger siblings
This is nothing new people! That shirt your little brother is wearing was something you got 6 years ago and it’s perfectly ok.

10. Use old clothes as rags for cleaning up
No more reason for buying tissue and napkins if you use the rags laying around the house to clean up and washup.

Thank you for visiting 18XEEM.com. This article may come to some of you as a surprise.

You may have heard that in 2008 I was the victim of a cyber stalker who defamed me on the internet. After months of investigation, the Warren Police Department and the Macomb County Prosecutor determined through forensic evidence that the culprit behind this criminal activity is a man named Nhia Lee, who also goes by the name of “Tyler” or “Tong Chai”.

I have not taken steps to sue Mr. Lee or anyone in this matter. However, using my web knowledge I was able to help the Warren Police in their investigation to determine that Mr. Lee was hiding behind a computer, anonymously cyber stalking and harassing me. I have asked law enforcement to ensure that he be prosecuted and, if found guilty (UPDATE: On April 9, 2010 Nhia Lee was found guilty and is now a convicted felon), that he be punished to the fullest extent of the law for his actions. Nhia Lee is charged with one count of a two-year felony by the state of Michigan, in Macomb County, the cybercrime of “Unlawful Posting of a Message” case no 09-. Mr. Lee has publicly admitted to committing the malicious acts that constitute this crime. As of March, 2, 2009, he is released on bail for $15,000. He currently resides in Shelby Township, Michigan.

Nhia Lee has alleged that he was a beauty pageant “organizer” who was trying to do a good deed by posting on the internet a video compilation that included images of a video of a nude woman that he alleged was me, Mai Hlee Xiong. As a former Miss Lao Hmong – Wisconsin (2004-2005) [click here to read an article that I wrote for 18XEEM about my pageant experiences], such an allegation and widespread dissemination of derogatory material about me is very hurtful. Yet I have had no contact from any pageant officials, organizations, or individuals asking me or demanding that I be stripped of my crown, title, or prize. Nor have I accused any community group, organization or individual other than Mr. Lee of instigating and defaming me.

Nhia Lee has never been an “organizer” of any beauty pageant. He was once a male pageant contestant [where he actually got 2nd place and threatened to sue the judges for not making him the winner!], as well as an emcee in the singing competition portion of the Hmong Michigan New Year 2007. His sister, Nee Lee, won the crown of Miss Hmong Michigan pageant 2007 (I was the runner-up that year). In fact, Mr. Lee was heavily involved in promoting his sister’s participation in the pageant.

After the pageant ended, Mr. Lee began to cyber stalk me on different media channels including MySpace for several months prior to the actual criminal incident. He collected and took personal photos of me and information on my personal life and even posted video clips of me and other former pageant contestants performing in public venues on YouTube without our knowledge or permission. He then made immature comments about each of us and mocking our abilities. In addition, Mr. Lee anonymously created a false profile in order to become my MySpace friend, using a fake name and photo of someone named “Jeffrey”. He also used my own photos and profile information to create a false profile of me. He pretended to be me and messaged my real friends in inappropriate ways and requested to be friends with strangers as if he were me. I have logs and logs of consecutive days where he visited my MySpace page and my website, HleeX.com, daily, during normal and odd hours like 2, 3 in the morning (if you are visiting this website, you should know that your information has been logged and documented as well).

Since this terrible incident, I have received numerous Google searches such as “pornstar Hlee Xiong”, “Hlee XXXiong”. I am telling you personally now, that is not the person that I am. I do not portray myself as such, and this is an insult to my family and to me. I have retained numerous documents showing page views and hits coming from Mr. Lee’s home IP address in Shelby Township, and his specific MySpace ID to prove that it was him who was cyber stalking me and sending out harassing and malicious emails to me and others.

Mr. Lee used photos that he lifted from my MySpace page and hand crafted a slideshow compilation of me and my family to create a false impression and defame my reputation. He created a YouTube account “TheHmongTruth” and uploaded the slideshow with an accompanying song called “Apologize” by Timbaland and One Republic, suggesting in the chorus that it was “too late to apologize”. Mr. Lee then used an anonymous email account that he specifically created for the purpose of widespread posting of the defamatory material under the name “thehmongtruth@yahoo.com”. He sent the material to multiple recipients who were close family, friends, and colleagues of me, including messages such as “Quit being a fake a$$ whore!” “pictahs” “uh oh….Wat ur excuse be now?” A friend of mine told this anonymous person to stop and reveal his true identity. Mr. Lee responded: “U is prolly a SlUt h3o like yo frend Mizz XXXiong! She aint no innocenT no mo huh? lol!”

Mr. Lee’s false and defamatory emails and postings were sent far and wide, to close family and friends of mine, to a pageant official, to dozens of Michigan State University students (where he attended school), as well as to several mailing lists that contain many more addresses. Finally, the material was then distributed virally on numerous discussion boards and online blogs by some recipients.

These materials were posted and sent throughout the same time my mother was still recovering from brain surgery at the hospital. During this time, my family and I were still grieving for my mother’s life while she fought to survive the effects of two aneurysms. And with Nhia Lee’s visual image and noise embedded in my mind, forever instilled in me, it made my life a living hell. I will never forget the chilling feeling that crossed my mind over this for as long as I live. I was frozen but shaken all at the same time. This experience is forever embedded into my mind and has caused me intense emotional upset.

I live my life by a moral standard, and that is to treat others the way you would expect them to treat you. I live my life to serve others and make others happy while putting my own happiness last. I am content, knowing that I can bring happiness to others. My success is my family’s success, and my success is shared in my community. Never have I had cruel intentions towards others. I am, the ‘girl with the smile, who always goes the extra mile’. I like to believe that there are good people in this world who strive to do good things. I used to believe that doing good things will yield good returns. And so I tried to do good things in my life for others. But now, I often wonder why bad things happen to good people?

A beloved uncle of mine once told me: “Use your intelligence to do good things in this world, not to do bad things to harm others”. And a famous Hmong saying goes, if Hmong do not love Hmong, who will love the Hmong? When I found out the truth from the Warren Police that it was a fellow Hmong American Nhia Lee who harassed and cyber-stalked me for months under the alias “TheHmongTruth” I was deeply hurt knowing that this cruel person came from my own community. I was always taught that we should stand together, support each other, and love each other, because ‘we are like one family’ and we stem from the same tree. There is no good reason why Nhia Lee would do what he did to me. I have never given him any reason to treat me in a hostile manner. There are no words to describe all the feelings that I have internally. Nhia Lee violated and invaded my privacy. He harmed the only family I have. My community has suffered greatly and felt betrayed by Nhia Lee and his family’s senseless acts and animosity.

Before I went to the police I asked Nhia Lee directly if he did it. I was willing to accept an apology if he would cease doing it. But he denied it, belittled me for it, and recruited his family in perpetrating his lie. Now that he has admitted to be the perpetrator behind TheHmongTruth@yahoo.com it is clear that he has brought the same onto his family and community.

As the victim of an awful cyber stalking crime, I have decided to come forward from here on out to let people know that they do not have to suffer cyber stalking silently and can fight back against online defamation by cowards who hide behind false identities on the internet. Companies like LifeLock help with deterring identity theft and the consequences that come with it. Because of the terrible experience that I went through and am still going through today, I have set up a resource website to help create awareness of the crime, and to provide a forum for people who use social networks such as Facebook, MySpace and YouTube to assist them in preventing cyber stalking.

So please visit WWW.QUITSTALKINGME.COM to find out more.

DIGG this story

Subscribe today to read this entire story in the Feb 08 issue of 18XEEM.

“Once backstage I made a comment to my friend who was helping me get dressed, “Who knew looking pretty took so much work!” On stage I portray flawless beauty and elegance, but backstage, things are another story. Looking beautiful and flawless takes a lot of effort. Thankfully, I have my family and friends to help me every step of the way.” – Hlee Xiong

To read this entire article on print, please click here to subscribe.